Figuring it all out and finding your spark.

There is no doubt that one learns a lot in their post-secondary education. But it’s not until your career do you really start figure it all out. There is a world of difference between the two events, but they are not mutually exclusive. I graduated from University in 2008 with a bachelors in Gerontology with a lot of knowledge, but not a lot of specific direction. As Lauren knows all too well, the dreaded ‘what are you going to do when you graduate?’ questions starts getting pounced upon you about six months before graduation. Sometimes, you don’t know. You just don’t, and people telling you what they think you should do is not a solution. Kate detested her first job out of University, and she quickly figured out exactly what she didn’t want to do before being challenged in the field (…quite literally, in a field of crops) she knew was a fit for her. Lau is still in the ‘figuring it all out’ phase, which is exactly where she needs to be right now. Micaela worked hard and patiently waited for her dream job and Eri settled calmly into a position which recognizes and utilizes her unique skills and abilities.

I decided to move clear across the country, across the prairies and into the West to start to figure it all out. And slowly, I did just that. I am four years, two full-time jobs with a few part-time ones on the side into figuring it all out and directing myself into my chosen career path. Upon leaving my first job to move back to Ontario I confessed to my boss that I still didn’t understand why she hired me given my lack of hands-on experience in the field, and I will never forget when she told me that ‘sometimes you just see a spark in somebody. The knowledge that comes with a career? That can be taught. But when you find someone that has the spark inside of them you take a chance, and you don’t regret it’. That statement has influenced my career in every way, and in a way, is my personal motto. I don’t know everything, neither do you and and even together neither of us ever will. But with that spark inside, tasks can be taught, knowledge will be learned and surrounding yourself with people that believe in you will help you to achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.

When I moved to Toronto (jobless with hundreds of resumes and cover letters in hand) people started asked the dreaded question ’what are you going to do when you get there?’ and I desparately thought to myself ‘I will do almost anything for anybody who will hire me’. A year into a challenging full time job later, I am inspired to find and achieve my niche. I am not so desparate anymore and am finally able to write down tangible goals and what it will take for me to achieve them onto a piece of paper – one which sits in my desk where I can see it every day. I am ready to move again, this time into a position which will sharpen my career even further.

And finally, because there is nothing like a good Venn diagram to support one’s logic.

 

Source

I have a very strong lust for shoes like this:

From Pinterest

and this

From Pinterest

which is funny because I am already 5’10″ and these shoes would put me at over 6’1″. I was out with girlfriends last night dancing our freaking booties off while wearing 4″ heels and at one point I commented on how short everyone at that bar was. “Leah,” they said to me, “it’s not that everyone else is short. It’s that you are so tall”. They raised a valid point, considering I was 6’2″ with those killer studded booties on. I don’t feel tall though, you know? And really, 5’10″ isn’t that tall. I was waiting for a girlfriend outside the washrooms last night and a guy walked by and I heard him say to his friends ‘that girl was really tall and long’. I wanted to tell him that it’s because I was a tranvestite (which I am not) buuuut for some reason I had a feeling that wouldn’t go over too well. Guys say that to me with a more negative attitude all the time – I’ve heard that I am ‘inappropriately tall’ and that, plain and simply, ’you’re really tall’ (please note: that guy was really short). That funny thing is that IT ALMOST ALWAYS COMES FROM SHORTER GUYS! Hello boys? You have an issue called Napolean Complex, and it stems from your own insecurity and inferiority and implied loss of power due to your shorter stature.

About a month ago, an older dude approached me at Wendy’s while I was in line to get a burger and said “Excuse me miss, but I have to ask – how tall are you?”  I stared at him for a few moments with what I think was probably a mixture of annoyance and disgust because really, why was it any of his business? I reeeaaally wanted to respond with “Well I’m 5’10″ and I actually have a question for you too – I have to ask, how big is your gut?” (it was large). Why is it any different, really. And what if I was insecure about my height? It could have been a very hurtful comment. Both examples are of size and proportion of the human body except mine was genetic and his might be from a few too many of the Wendy’s burgers he was about to consume. Let’s acknowledge that his gut could possibly be preventable and or maybe it was a symptom of a disease or illness or something, then I really would have been the asshole in that situation.  In that case, would it have been any different if that guy had a large hairy mole on his chin and I had asked him how big his hairy mole was? Maybe he was self conscious about his mole, or maybe he really didn’t give a fuck about it at all. Maybe that mole was his best friend and he named it Toby and he sings lullabies to Toby every night. I wouldn’t have had any idea if he was or wasn’t, just like he had no idea if I was self conscious about my height.

 

This whole post might come off as me being insecure about my height, which I am not. I like being tall, and as I mentioned earlier, I don’t feel tall on a day to day basis. I feel normal, like being tall is a very normal thing (uhh, which it is). Although I do get the Napoleans of the world who comment on my height with a more negative connotation, I also get comments from guys who comment that they like tall women, and women who say they wish they were as tall as me. That is all I have to say about being tall right now and now I will leave you now with a few parting gifts. 

From Pinterest

From Pinterest

PS: Dear wonderful boyfriend of mine, My birthday, our anniversary (holy crap, six years!) and Christmas are all in the next six weeks. Just sayin’.

Getting my Cougar on.

Although today was gorgeous, the winter time is approaching Toronto and if the rumours I’ve heard are true then it’s going to be a cold one.  I have a feeling I am going to be freezing my tush off during my commute come the dead of winter. I was happy to be given a pair of winter boots recently which I can’t wait to put to the ultimate Canadian winter test! The brand is Cougar, which has recently gone through a brand reformation and reentered the market with a more fashion forward look. As a bonus for those of us living in an often frigid environment they have maintained their durability and warmth. The ones I have are leather and suede and are padded on the interior – keeping my toes warm through temperatures as low as -24c! I’ve worn them a few times now and my feet were very thankful for me.

These ones are, in my opinion, a bit biker-chic with the zippers and detailing and they have a very comfortably sized heel (not that I need it or anything!). They go great with my trench, and in my wardrobe these days, that is the only thing that matters. I wore them to work this week with this red button up from Roots (which is super long and I adore) and leggings from Jacob (which are the ultimate tall-girl legging). I added a black belt later, which didn’t make it into the photo. In full disclosure, these boots were a gift and I will definitely keep wearing them through the winter. I am actually really excited about how warm my feet will be this winter.

Blood, sweat, tears & sequins.

I’ve been spending the weekends of the past month fixing up my new house (!!) that I won’t be living in until May. Actually, scratch that. I am splitting my time between Toronto and a farmhouse in the middle of the countryside. I am a true country mouse/city mouse right now and I am loving that I get to live both lifestyles. There are house photos coming soon, I would show you before pictures of my jungle house but I don’t think I want to. I can’t even tell you how bad this house was when we finally got rid of the tenant. Like … cat pee everywhere bad. Rip out the bathrooms and flooring as soon as possible bad. Dead animals  bad. Pool liners in the trees bad. Rotting chicken and emu eggs bad. Odour seal the whole house bad. However, it is so incredible now with the 24/7 help of many of our loved ones this house has become a beautiful, CLEAN, comfortable home (with a lot of blood, sweat and tears. A LOT of them.). This house comes with a history and a story and we will never forget how incredible it’s story is. On day one of the house Tim’s grandpa promised me that the house will become a home and I wasn’t sure I believed him, but it really has become a home.

Until then, I leave you with this gem. I have an affinity for sequins and this dress alone makes me think I am ready to get married immediately. Tim? Let’s elope on Friday.

 

Goodbye herd of African wild cats, welcome Tim & Leah

I have eight and a half months to go to fulfil my contract in Toronto and I am already itching to get out of here. I can’t complain too much because I’ve got a pretty sweet gig and an awesome spacious apartment and I live with my Aunt who loves me very much. Also, a boyfriend who loves me probably way more than I deserve (true) and he is doing  great job at being in a long distance relationship. He’s been living with his parents for the summer and working extremely hard with the family business, and they’ve already made some pretty huge changes and developments.

Today is kind of the next big step in our new big adventure, which is actually an adventure towards settling down and shrugging our shoulders at each other realizing we’re the best each each other can get. Just kidding – we are doing the happy dance every day and life is making more and more sense every passing week. It kind of feels like two steps forward and one step back sometimes, because there is this huge prize waiting for me with Tim and our new home but I’m kind of stuck here for awhile just watching from afar. A girlfriend put it well in saying that taking this whole thing slow is probably good for me. Everything has happened so fast since May that it is probably a good thing that I am turning the gears down and really easing myself into, well, the rest of my life?

Anyway, back to today – we are getting our new house! Currently there is  a man and a herd of African wild cats and a frog hatchery living in there, and it is taking awhile for buddy and his jungle to leave, but he should be out by tonight and then it is ours to tear down walls and rip up carpet and make it our home.

Maybe because I just absolutely HATE the word itself.

I don’t know how many of you crazies even noticed that I deleted my Twitter last week. If you followed me, you definitely noticed because I spewed out some overly dramatic tweets about … oh, who the hell knows. And, who the hell cares, really. It’s funny, but my whole thinking behaviours have changed since I went dark – I didn’t even realize that I thought in 140 character sentences, then after I realized what I was doing I realized how insignificant it all is. It honestly feels nice and private to be  keep all of my thoughts to myself.

Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t regret all of the tweeting I have done in the past – Twitter has offered me some wonderful opportunities to make IRL friends and to learn about the new cities I have lived in. I also know many people who have found support and friendship through Twitter and I think that is wonderful. Recently, it had gotten all too political for me. I was following people I didn’t want to follow but I couldn’t unfollow them because it would hurt their feelings, I was screening my followers all the time because I was private and only wanted people following me who were currently also tweeting regularly, I thought people were spying  on me (a psychiatric problem also known as ‘Delusional Twittersitosis’), I had to highly censor my tweets due to the people that were following me, too many people were airing their dirty laundry in public which made me feel anxious, and Tim was really uncomfortable with the whole thing.

In a fit of rage (kind of … actually it really was) I oh so typically made a dramatic exit. I don’t know if I’ll go back to it, but until I do please leave me comments on this lil’ ole blog or e-mail me at fiveblondes@gmail.com or send smoke signals or morse code my doorbell. Okay, maybe that last one is a little creepy because then you’ll know where I live, but on second thought it probably doesn’t even matter because I seem to move every 3.5 days so I’ll be gone soon anyway. Also, my apartment doesn’t have a doorbell.

 

(On a more positive note, I’ll probably be blogging a lot more because I still need some kind of outlet to express my crazy.)

 

Hot Cowboy Names. Ladies? You’re welcome.

Another Stampede has come and past, so it time for another edition of Hot Cowboy Names! This past Stampede was my fourth consecutive Stampede in a row (I’m truly surprised I am still alive and functioning) and while I really only got one night of Stampeding in, it was worth it. Also, remember that the five of us grew up on a farm, so country is on our blood. See all of our posts about pigs here (apparently we have quite a few posts about pigs? Odd.)

Aside from Ranchman’s and Nashville North and country concerts and cowboy boots, my favourite part about Stampede is the Chuckwagon Races and the cowboys. I have said before and I will say again, pregnant women should go to the nearest rodeo to get baby name ideas. (I was going to link to their profiles, but … well, I’m not going to. You can Google them if you’d like but I wouldn’t recommend it.)

First off, and in no particular order, we have Kelly Sutherland. Kelly is like an 11 time Chuckwagon world champion or something,  and while I’m not too sure about stereotypical female names for men, Kelly pulls his off with brute strength.

Now let’s talk a bit about Colt Cosgrave. Sexy name, for sure. I bet Colt was a wild child, doesn’t the name give you an image of a dreamy man who lived on the edge and a real hit with the ladies?

Obrey Motowylo is such a such a unique name, not one that I would want for my children but it really sticks in your head.

Dusty LaValley is an awesome name, but the real winner here is his young son – get this – Austin Outlaw. Mothers, lock you daughters up.

Dallas Dyck, I’m sorry, but it just makes me laugh. Just think of the nicknames this guy had…

Hunter Herrin, you are killing me softly. Hunter is probably an impermeably tough man who comes home and lights candles for his lady.

Chanse Vigen is a … nice  name. I’m sorry to a certain person that I just said that, but it’s true. The end.

Tilden Hooper unfortunately reminds me of Tilda Sweeney, but it still a hot cowboy name nonetheless.

Oh my lord, I just noticed Quinn Dorchester. Not too keen on the last name, but is another example of girl-name-for-a-guy and me likey.

Lanson Gaudry – it just never ends. Hot. Name.

Next up we have the the deathly frightening bulls and horses (seriously, who comes up with these?)

Wrangers Crackalakin: Haha, what?

Skippy’s Fine Line: While ‘Skippy’ doesn’t connotate a giant 300o lbs that wants to smush you to pieces, trust me – don’t get too close to Skippy. Names can be deceiving and he would like to rip you to pieces.

Swervyn Mervin: I just can’t take this bull seriously. It makes me laugh. This bull would probably stop to crack a joke in the middle of it’s eight second ride.


________________________________________________________________________

Those were just my favourites out of the many competitors at the Calgary Stampede this year, but there is pretty much a jackpot of names on the Results and Bios page of the Stampede Events page.

 

Leah & Tim’s new life: an update

In the sweltering mess that was last weekend, Tim’s new life plan went into full force causing us to have to move out of our apartment we share with his best friend, Chubbs. Chubbs job is moving him to Saskatoon for two years (… I know. Poor guy) and it just so happened to be a few weeks after Tim left his job. So the three of us amicably parted geographic ways and I moved in with my Aunt Yaya. Yaya has a huge basement apartment, so I pretty much hit the jackpot having her in Toronto. I never ever in a million years thought I would be able to live in my own apartment by myself, I guess I pegged myself as far too dependent on constant human interaction. However, I couldn’t even believe how nice it was to set up my apartment the way I like it and not have to compromise with a roommate. Also, I know that my Aunt is right upstairs when I want to chat. Right now my routine is pretty much work, eat, work, sleep, drink wine, work, take the subway for a million hours a day, work, drink wine, sleep, and now spend far too much time taking Greyhound home and to Guelph almost every weekend to see my famjam and Tim as often as possible, so I don’t have time to be lonely.

One major drawback of the plan (apart from being three hours away from Tim) is that my commute has doubled now that I moved further away from downtown. But I decided to get my bicycle back in working order so now I cut some time off by biking to the subway every morning. I can’t believe how therapeutic that daily bike ride is! I hate walking places because walking is too slow, so biking gets me to the subway faster and it really clears my mind before work and de-stresses me on the way home from work. I got a vintage Raleigh last year right after I lost my license. Some guy took pity on me and gave it to me for free and invited me to his Church. I didn’t go to his Church but I did name my bike after his pastor, Anthony.

To sum this all up, I want to give out a huuuuge thank you to everybody who has shown support and love to Tim on his new adventure. Honestly? I was so nervous at first as to what people would say/think about this change – I thought people would judge him and scoff at his decision to leave his corporate job in the city. I know that he made the right decision and apparently everybody else does too - Tim is a country boy down to the core and people can see that in him. He is already so, so much happier – he as already lost some weight he has been trying to lose, and even our finances are in better order than ever – and it only took a month! People are always asking us (and making bets on) when we are going to get engaged – and I can’t blame them, we have been together for 5.5 years now, I would probably do the same if I were them – but it was so hard for us to look far into the future when one of us really wasn’t happy where we were. In Calgary, Tim wanted to go back to Ontario. In Ontario, I was (f)unemployed for 9 long months, then right after I got my job he was able to relax and let himself really think about what he wants from his career. That’s three years of our relationship spent in transition and, at times, uncertainty. Now that things are trucking along nicely for the both of us, it is so much easier for me to look into the future. It’s kind of like things are really lining up for us and when I look into the future with Tim, things are looking good.

 

All Roads Lead Back Home

I don’t know how/when to start this story except for at the beginning, which was 5 years ago. So follow along and be patient, I promise the ending will be worth it.

Tim and I met in University –  he got his B.Comm in hotel management and I have my B.A.Sc. in Gerontology. During high school and his summers he worked for his Uncles, who own a concrete construction company. For some reason, I have always vividly remembered a conversation that occured on one of our first dates wherein he told me that he won’t be happy until he is working for himself someday. His drive and ambition impressed me (and his brains too – my boy graduated near the top of his class and won Mr. Congeniality to boot. /end brag).

Upon graduation, Tim got a much coveted position with a huge hotel chain – remember that job that moved us to Calgary? That one. He worked there for two years and while there were many aspects of the job that he loved (for example, managing his staff and the proximity to the mountains), the odd hours and distance starting wearing away at him. So he applied for and received a promotion that moved him to the Canadian corporate sales sales office as a corporate account manager – a 9-5 job that is close(r) to home and a position that angled him towards rising quickly in rank with the company. Perfect, or so we thought. It still wasn’t enough for Tim – he’s not the kind of guy to settle for anything but the best for himself.

Since moving back to Ontario last summer he has been going back to his family farm every weekend he could. It was obvious that his mood lifted every time he pulled off of the 401 towards his parent’s farm, and immediately got to work doing odd jobs here and there – and he was so excited about it. He hated having to head back to the city when the weekends ended.

We tentatively started talking about what it might look like if our lives ended up in the country by his parent’s farm. He took some time off in May to go work for his uncles at the construction company and to hang out on the farm as a way of giving it a test drive. He said driving back to his office in Toronto after his ‘vacation’ was one of the most difficult things he’s ever done.

He knew what he had to do. Two weeks ago he sat down with his uncle his parents to discuss his plans with them and his future with the family businesses. They were incredibly supportive and have been working with him to get him involved with the businesses in a management role and in expanding the businesses. Last Tuesday he quit his job and left the corporate world forever. I think it was the best day of Tim’s life.

Next month Tim will be moving into one of his parent’s farm houses, which he will renovate and we will eventually buy. I will stay in Toronto for now, and my Aunt has kindly re-offered her basement apartment for as long as I need it. The farm house is where we will eventually live and farm and raise our family in. It is where we will plant our gardens and where we will grow old together.

Tim is ecstatic, other than the fact that we will be apart for a while which is starting to freak him out. I’m filled with nervous excitement and amazement at how quickly my future has come together. I have one stipulation, however – I am not leaving the city without a job in the area or my driver’s license back. The farm is about and hour from the town where my sisters and my parents live. Tim’s family and their friends have already shown us so much support already and encouragement and love, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m a pretty lucky girl to have so many loving people in my life.

A year ago I was happily living in Calgary working as a mental health case coordinator for a non-profit. This year I am working for the provincial government in health care. Next year? I will be settling my life in the country. Forever. Do I look more like an adult today? Because I sure do feel like one.

Thing One & Thing Two & Things in General

I got a card in the mail today from Micaela which had gotten lost in the mail near the end of April (sometimes it helps to put postal/area codes on your mail, Mic…). In the card she spoke about timing and how you just never know how or when things will work out, but it seems that they always do in the end. She told me that things will work out for me (it was sent during a period of meltdowns and uncertainty on my end) and how there were times when she felt that it would never work out for her but in the end it always does. That someday soon ‘these past eight months will seem like another lifetime, when your whole life lay before you and you didn’t even know it’. When she sent that card I was pretty much ready to give up on everything and crawl in to a hole to wallow even more in my self pity, and now not even two months later I am feeling so happy and so settled and so ready for my life.

Life changes so, so much from year to year. Looking back on the last three years of my life simply amazes me – the places I’ve been, the people I’ve met, the opportunities I’ve had, the amount of beer I’ve drank with great friends, the family I’ve gotten so much closer to – if you told me three years ago where I’d be today I would have just stared at you amazed at the opportunities life could throw at me. I’ve learned a few lessons during my 24 years of life, the first being that you never know what is going on behind closed doors – so don’t assume that you do. And the second is what I discussed above – life is constantly changing. Even when you don’t feel it or you feel stuck or you feel depressed or you feel lonely or you feel settled, it is changing. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. Every molecule of your being has had an influence on where you are today and it will have an influence on where you are tomorrow, or next year even.

I kind of have a feeling where I’ll be next year, and I can tell you that it is not where I would have ever before thought I might be. And it’s definitely not where I am today. But guess what? Life happened. And it’s happening. And even though I finally feel settled, life is changing again. And once again, I think it’s for the better.

P.S. The card in question? It’s perfect.

(Micaela & Leah, circa 2003 – or something)