ATTN: my future. RE: things are looking up.

You know, when I accepted that previous job offer I knew it didn’t feel right. Initially, I even turned it down because it just felt off. As my intuition is very sharp, it didn’t come as a huge surprise to me when it didn’t work out. I used the opportunity to take a step back from my job hunt and think about what I really wanted from my career. Did I want to settle? Well, yes and no. I didn’t want to settle in to a job that would make me stray too far from the path I want to take in life (for example, working front line with the homeless population), but at the same time I knew that by setting my standards too high I likely wouldn’t be getting anywhere (for example, applying for jobs that required a Masters of Social Work degree). Originally, I was only applying for jobs that were identical to my first career-type job. It was safe, and I guess I wanted to make my transition into Toronto as smooth as possible and for life to seem the same as it had been. While I did get one call back, the fact that I no longer have a drivers license was a major roadblock down that path so I stopped applying to jobs that required driving (which are common in the social work field). I had a moment a few months in to the search where I sat back and realized that trying to recreate my life in Calgary wasn’t really a good idea at all. I wasn’t looking for opportunities to grow and expand my skills and knowledge, I was looking to go back in time and potentially fall in to a position that would make life as stagnant as possible.

So I expanded my job search and instead of looking at which jobs I wanted, I researched agencies I would like to work for. It is so important to me as an individual to have a job where I am making a positive difference in my community, and I know that I need to be working for an organization or agency that I truly care about. A few weeks ago, I got called in for an interview at one particular agency that was on my list. After a computer test and two interviews, they offered the job to someone else. I was completely deflated. The interview had gone so well that I walked out of the interview on the top of the world. Then they told me that while they found someone better suited for the position, they liked me so much that they wanted to find me a job within the agency that was better suited to me. They didn’t want to lose me, and I was somebody who felt she had nothing left to lose. I had forgotten how much I had to offer, and how my personality and my enthusiasm would be an asset to an agency. They offered me another position for a similar position with a different team, and I delightedly accepted it. 

So after months and months of tears of frustration and anxiety, I was finally able to cry tears of joy and pure happiness. I immediately made a few rounds of phone calls and when I told my Mom the news I have never, ever, in my life heard her sound so happy. I have had so much incredible support and love shown to me by my friends and family over the past year. I know people often say this, but I truly don’t think I could have managed the last year of my life without my team of friends and family around me. As always, big shout out to my Timbo, who is wonderful and supportive and loving and adorable and all that nice boyfriend stuff. I’m a very lucky, blessed girl in the family and friends department.

As I currently have two part time jobs, I’ll be quitting my bartending job and keeping my job at Boots (so all of you discount abusers, you’re in luck). May 16th is the big day at the new job and I’m taking the weekend prior to that one off to come home to the Farm and celebrate and kiss babies and to drink too much beer and play golf and visit all of my loved ones.

I mean seriously, who has birds as pets anyways.

I’ve told you about the time I thought I was related to my boyfriend (and I’m still pretty sure that someday Ancestry.com is going to tell me that I am indeed in an incestuous relationship), so it is now time to get to know Leah a bit better. I’m going to enlighten you on how my phobia of birds developed (better known as Ornithophobia).

When I was 16, I took part in an exchange wherein I moved to the French-speaking province in Canada, Quebec, and worked for a childrens day camp. We made ice cream in Ziploc baggies and crossed the streets holding hands chanting “Attention! On traversons!” (I still occassionally silently chant it when I cross the street.)

I lived with a family and their daughter lived with mine. The family I stayed with had a pet bird, Pirouette. They absolutely adored the small, blue bird and often let him out of his cage to sit on their shoulders. As I hadn’t yet developed my ornithopobia, I just shrugged it off, it wasn’t my cup of tea, but whatever, the family loved their bird and who am I to judge.

One day as I walked in the house, Pirouette flew over to me and started attacking me and pecking at my head. He was all up in my grill and naturally, I freaked out (trust me, I’m sure you would have done the same). I ran around the house shrieking and covering my head as the bird attempted to peck my brains out.The family was killing themselves laughing at me, and thought it was just freaking hilarious that Pirouette was trying to eat me for dinner.

Eventually, I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. And I slammed the door right on the bird.

And I killed it. The bird died a horrible and quite showy death and finally shuttered its last breath as it layed seizing in my host Mom’s hands. I have never been more horrified and humiliated in my entire life.

To this day I have not gotten over my fear of birds and quite frankly, I don’t think I ever will. If you have a pet bird, I suggest you don’t ever invite me over. I might accidentally maliciously murder your favourite pet. And if you spot a girl on the street who is running away from the wild people-attacking pigeons in Toronto, I can almost guarantee you that it’s me. Because birds are scary terrorists and that’s the end of my story.

A day is more than the sum of its parts

I’m not a morning person (though I aim to be), but my days start at 6:30am just before my boyfriend goes to work. After he has showered and donned his day’s suit, he crawls back in to bed with me. He rubs my back, strokes my cheeks and forehead and tells me he loves me. Sometimes I am awake, sometimes I am not, and sometimes I pretend to be asleep just to enjoy the moment.

After crawling out of my den of soft blankets and duvet, I usually eat oatmeal for breakfast and check out what is happening with my favourite job advertisement websites. I try to apply for a few jobs a week, and I enjoy writing cover letters and tweaking resumes at my local coffee shop over a foamy cappuccino. Though this week will be spent researching for an approaching interview.

Later, I head out for the day. I didn’t realize just how much time I would spend on subways and busses when I moved to Toronto, and with the more temperate months coming I have taken to enjoy leisurely rides on the streetcars. While I love my Blackberry and my Kobo, my favourite moment which makes my commutes bearable, exciting even, is sitting down and opening up the free daily newspaper and doing the crossword. I have made a friend in Toronto who has also been bitten by the crossword bug, and we will text each other hints and clues, or just to complain over varying levels of difficulty.

Throughout the day, the girls and I are talking to each other and updating each other on all topics (our current favourite is the future baby name of this girl) via our Facebook group. I must check that thing 20 times a day or more, and I love getting a notification that one has posted a new thread. Some of them are silly, some of them are serious, and some of them are celebratory. It’s where all the good gossip is shared and I am thankful for this bit of the internet that has brought us even closer together.

Late at night after my roommates are in bed, I arrive home. The house is dark and warm, I unpack my day’s bags and sit on the bed and say Hi to Tim. The satisfied sigh he makes in his sleep when he realizes I am home, and reaches for a hug make any of the day’s misfortunes dissipate. Before I hit the hay, I have a glass of wine and check my favourite blogs.

Overall, my life is not very exciting these days but my days are about finding joy and comfort in the small things, and finding solace in conversations with friends and family. I have a feeling there are a lot of positive events coming up in my future, and that this year is going to bring even more changes in my life. Life sometimes feels like a waiting game right now, that I am sitting semi patiently in the doctors office, that the doctor has test results and I can’t wait to hear them, but I am reminding myself to take it one day at a time and just be present in the moment.

Painting the town (and my lips) red.

My grade 10 religion teacher once told my class that she ‘never leaves the house without her eyebrows on’, and I know a few people who I would barely recognize without their bright lipstick. I’ve never ever ventured out in to the world with red lipstick because I never thought I could pull it off, but I stopped in to a MAC store and a few weeks ago a whim just to buy some. Even though I was initially dubious, I’ve worn my lips out a few times and I’m kind of loving it! I’m still not sure how day-appropriate the look is, but I like just having fun with it in a city where I barely know anyone. I generally refer to the old adage of concentrating one one feature at a time – not overdoing the lips if you have intense eye makeup and vice versa, so I’m not wearing any shadow at all on my eyes in these photos (just eyeliner). Overboard? Perhaps. But I don’t often wear dark eye makeup anyways, I’m more of a pink-y and gold-y , shimmery tones kind of gal.

I had an important appointment earlier this week and thought I needed a little liquid waxy courage so I painted on my lips and off I went.

Before:

After:

(The colour is MAC matte Russian Red from the Wonder Woman collection. Love it? Hate it? Think I look like a hooker? Let me know.)

Now for the hair, I pretty much never leave my house without curly hair these days, which probably means I have too much time on my hands. I’m currently using my hair iron but I want to get a set of hot rollers and see how those work for me, and I’d also like a large barrel curling iron. I think I’ll pop in to my local Value Village and see if they have any el cheapo hair electronics (don’t judge). Maybe we even have an old set at the Farm that I can get my paws on. Anyone? Lau?

I know Lauren can rock a set of bright pink lips pretty hot, but how about YOU? Any other bright lipstick lovers out there? Or bright lip virgins?

Seasons of Love (and change)

A few seemingly long months ago, the sight of snow made my eyes sparkle jusst like those first few falling flakes. Today, it is snowing and my heart falls. What is it about changing seasons that draws out these varying emotions? I suppose that’s the beauty of living where I do. Some say the changing of seasons just means more time gone, four months older, four months later and still not where you’d like to be.

Everytime the seasons change I fall in love with them over again. This past Autumn was so special to me, and then the winter came and I danced in the first snowfalls of the season. Now I am awaiting the spring and the thought of fresh flowers and leafy trees is buzzing at the forefront of my mind. And when summer comes I will be at peace.

People ask “Are you a summer person or a winter person?” Though I always reply with summer, my heart will always long for those long walks trudging through snow, bundled up next to the one I love. Why is it that we have to be one or the other? There is something so magical about each and every one, as if each season is an opportunity for change both in nature as well as within ourselves.

The inevitable quarter life crisis.

Some days I feel like I spend most of my time complaining about 2010 and how much it sucked for me. Eventually, I’ve come to realize that 2010 was the year of my very own quarter life crisis. I know I’m not the only one of my friends that feels this way about their own lives, and I know that many people have gone through this rut. Some days I feel like my life is coming back together, that I am continuing to trailblaze my own path through this crazy thing called life. Some days, today in particular, I feel like it’s all still falling apart and I need to make some changes to find my true, happy self again. To be honest, I haven’t really felt like myself since November and I’m ready for the normal Leah to make an appearance in my life.

I start my new job on Monday and although I’ve been so apprehensive about it, last night I started to really think about it and get charged up and excited about it. Maybe it’s that I’ve been waiting for so long to start this job. Maybe it’s that I haven’t even changed my phone number from my Calgary number and I’m hanging on to that last thread of my life there. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I feel like I could ‘maybe’ my way through everything and reason it that way. Maybe if I do this. Or, maybe if I do that. I need to cut the word ‘maybe’ out of my vocabulary.

Help me, people. What did you do to get yourself through your quarter life crisis? Any words of encouragement that you can give to a girl who is quite possibly in the midst of one?

In the words of Kirsten Dunst circa 2000, Bring It On.

It’s no secret that 2010 was not the best year of my life. 2010 brought a major illness, a move across the country, unemployment and more tears than I could have ever imagined. On the other hand, 2010 brought an incredible amount of love and support from family and friends. Love and support that kept me going and made me realize that my life is filled with some seriously amazing people. 2010 also brought more love from Tim, a man who stepped up to the plate and so much more when things got tough.

My attitude towards 2011 is that it will be the best one yet. This year I am looking forward to so many great things – more babies to hug, a challenging new job (keep reading for more info on that!), some traveling, creating my space in Toronto, and planning for my future. I’m  not making any resolutions (although I always resolve to improve my posture), I just want to focus on keeping that positive attitude – to make 2011 my best year yet, and to live as much life as I can. In addition, I have my 25 before 25 list to work on in the next 11 months.

Let’s talk about the best Christmas present any fun-employed individual could ask for – a job offer. On the 23rd, I accepted a job offer with a growing not-for-profit in Toronto. Without going in to too much detail, my job will be quite similar to my position in Calgary, working with adults with severe and persistent mental health illnesses. The job gives me the opportunity to expand on aspects of my skills I wish to build upon, challenges some skills I have developed, and provides lots of opportunities for forward movement. After hanging up the phone to accept the offer, I did what any self-respecting adult would do – I cried and hugged my Mommy (who gives the best hugs).

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of our readers and friends and family who have commented and called and hugged and supported me throughout my job search. In all honestly, I couldn’t have made it through the past six months the way I did without you. Special shout out to Tim, I honestly feel like words can’t express how amazing he is and how much love and support he has shown me over the past year (can you believe that we celebrated our five year anniversary last month?!). I’m excited as to what our move back to Toronto will bring for our relationship and our life together.

Thursday Night Confessions

I don’t know what (who?) Monty Python is. When people make Monty Python jokes – something that seems to happen often – I just smile and nod, or just pretend I didn’t hear.

I cheat at crosswords by Googling the answers. It is less satisfying to complete them that way, but some of the clues I just don’t know – like old movies, song titles, etc.

I have the greatest boyfriend in the entire universe. Last night he asked me on a date, and we had such a nice time walking through the snow and talking. And he makes me Chai Tea lattes. And visits me at work. He should teach boyfriend classes.

I am a serious carnivore. My roommate is trying to get me and my boyfriend to eat less meat, but that is not flying in Tim-land. Last night, the roommate cooked thai made with tofu and Tim looked at the food like it was going to make him vomit. A meal isn’t a meal with out meat (we are clearly farmers).

I sadly quit one of my jobs. Two part-time jobs plus searching for a full-time job isn’t meshing. It’s too bad, but it’s a good thing in the end.

I had an interview last week, and it went great. My references are currently being checked and I will hopefully have some good news for you very soon …

What are your Thursday night confessions? Anything you want to let out?

Happy Birthday Leah!

Today it is Leah’s 24th birthday! A lot has gone on since her last birthday, including a new baby in the family, a big move across the country, which we are all so excited about, and her search for a job, which you have all been through with her while reading her blog posts. We are so happy that she is closer to the whole family, and can’t wait until she and Tim get settled in Toronto and she gets a job!
Happy birthday Leah!




ps. Today is our last day of NaBloPoMo. Can you believe it?! This month has gone by so quickly, and it feels like only yesterday that Erica posted our first post of the month announcing it.
Thanks so much to everyone who read and commented, and I hope you continue to do the same in the coming months!

Dear Future Employer,

First off – Hi! And thanks for Googling me. You will likely first be directed to my LinkedIn profile. Go ahead and click on it – it’s also on my resume. I contemplated not putting a photo on my LinkedIn, but then I thought, heck – why not. You’re probably more likely to remember somebody when you can put a face to their name. I think it kind of looks like I’m arguing a debate in the photo. That, or I’m passionately discussing the merits of inclusive community affordable housing projects, or the influence of social media on product knowledge and awareness. I hope you also notice on it that I am “searching for a fulfilling position in the fields of geriatrics, mental health and/or group and community facilitation”. It’s true!  I’m currently not working. Well, some say searching for a job IS a full-time job. I somewhat agree. Searching for a employment is a full-time job for me because I’m also volunteering part-time.

I’m volunteering to increase my knowledge of the Toronto and Ontario health care and social service systems in order to gain more knowledge to do an even more spectacular job when I am working for your agency. I’m volunteering at a community outreach centre for seniors with addictions, where I am assisting to facilitate life skills courses. If you peruse through some of the details of my previous positions, you will see that I love adult education and group facilitation. Really, I just love people. I love learning from them, teaching them, and of course, helping them (which is probably why I’ve applied for a job with your agency).

I’m very much a people person. I’m also the kind of person who will give their best to their employer, and the respective clients and/or consumers. I will be the first one to volunteer for that new committee – providing I can realistically fit it into my schedule. I engage in ‘corporate culture’ by having a bright smile on my face right from the first day and partaking in events at the office. At my previous position I joined a 10k race with a few colleagues and with persistence, a positive attitude and some serious training I helped my team come in third place! I proudly hung my medal in my office. And you better believe I will bring delicious treats to your potlucks.

I loved my last job. I had some wonderful clients, and some challenging ones. I especially loved it when the aforementioned challenging clients evolved in to the wonderful ones. For example, the 50 year old man who had to make some very tough decisions. Through a collaboration of myself, his counsellor and his psychiatrist, we were able to help him through the decision and make some very positive changes in his life. At my last meeting with him, he cried openly in a coffee shop telling me that nobody has ever cared as much as I did. Another client was shocked that I had only lived in the city for two years. “You’ve connected me with services that my other professionals didn’t even know existed!”, she told me. I take pride in my researching skills – I am a life long learner and consistently seeking out new opportunities to show my clients, colleagues and employers.

So, future employer, I hope that you found this post, and then immediately let go of that computer mouse in order to pick up the phone and call me (my number’s right there at the top of my resume). E-mail works great too – with the help of my Blackberry (can’t be without Twitter for too long, I get shaky) I will get back to you immediately. I hope you’ve learned from this letter that I am friendly, a hard-worker, a dedicated employee and that I am passionate about making a positive impact on the lives of others. I am eager to put these great skills to use at your agency.

Best,

Your future employee of the month.