Two years ago I wrote about being “that girl” and following my boyfriend across the country. I was unsure if I was making the right decision and I was all messed up inside. If you’ve been reading for awhile, you’ll know that I did follow him. I followed him across the country, but not for a second was I “that girl”. While in University I was undeniably codependent with him. We spent every night together, and when we didn’t and I was anxious I was call him crying, begging him to come over. When we moved to Calgary I thought to myself that life would be perfect. That we would spend every possible moment together and cuddle all night and it didn’t matter that I didn’t have any friends out West because I had him and if I had him, nothing else matters.

Well, I learned pretty quickly that everything else? Does matter. The nature of his job meant that he was working in the evenings, and that he was working a lot. Our relationship took a toll, and we struggled through ups and downs. I reconnected with an old friend and my codependence with my boyfriend dissipated. My boyfriend became less of my best friend, and more of my boyfriend. This is a good thing, amigos.

Him and I have had to work hard to make things work. He still works mainly evenings, so I will come home for lunch and we’ll hang out for half an hour then. I’ll stay up super late and wait for him to come home, and when he gets home the first thing he does is give me a huge hug while I’m reading in bed. I’ve had to be really assertive with my needs, and not let myself feel that I am taking second place to his job. I’ve worked extra hard at making friends and meeting people in unconventional ways.

When Micaela wrote that post last week about the adoration her husband has for her, I broke down. My mind went into crisis mode and I could only focus on the faults in my relationship. All of a sudden, it wasn’t good enough. He didn’t adore me, he didn’t respect me, he wasn’t good enough. Then I shook my head and reminded me that my relationship was just that- my own. That I could compare all I wanted but in the end I had to figure out if it was working for me. And you know what? It is. He may not look at me with puppy eyes every day, but when I wake up beside him every, my life, in that moment, is good.

Rachel has passed the reins of the Love Story Project over to us. She sent quite a few stories that are waiting to be published and we can’t wait to share them with you! Please subscribe, share a story, or suggest to a friend that they share their story. You are welcome to email your love story to fiveblondes (at) gmail.com anytime.

pic by laurenewalters

Look for the next love story to come your way on Monday. If you’ve submitted a story already, we have your contact information and will be in touch to confirm when your story will be published.

Now this doesn’t mean there has been a ring in discussion at all, but I’ll refer to a tweet I posted last week talking about not wanting to be engaged or to be married right now but just wanting to be wanted. This conversation satisfied that wish. And to hear the person you love more than you ever thought you were capable of loving another human being ever so nonchalantly tell you that you are the one? Amazing.

As I laid in bed last night beside him my mind kept coming back to a poem I had found when we were first falling in love.

The Masks of Love.

I come in from a walk
With you
And they ask me
If it is raining.

I didn’t notice
But I’ll have to give them
The right answer
Or they’ll think I’m crazy.

-Alden Nowland

In learning to be kind and gentle to my soul, I became my best friend. By following this idea and maturing in general, I find that I love myself more and more every day. I don’t mean that in an obnoxious, narcissistic way but rather in a happy, comfortable way. The parts of my body and personality that I used to find ugly and frustrating are now some of my favourite things about myself.

For example, my feet. I used to think they were too long (size 9.5),  too skinny and too bony. Also, I have bunions on the sides of my big toes. I would always wear socks, or try to hide my feet or somehow try to make them look smaller. Now? I think my feet are quirky and fun and absolutely perfect. My feet have helped me to win races, and they fit into beautiful shoes withot complaining too much. I love my feet.

Left, my feet. Right, Nat’s beautiful feet.

What is one thing that you absolutely love about your awesome self? Tell me in the comments. You can’t imagine how great it feels to write it down and share it with others. Be kind and gentle to your soul today!

The day before the wedding after getting things set up in the tent, I asked Kent if he liked the tent and he replied “it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” which basically summed it up for me too.

Neither of us thrive in big crowds so it was nice to have our time alone in the car (with our wonderful driver Dane of course!) and taking photos before being mauled by people and flashes. My best friend is having a tent wedding next summer and I’m really excited to be part of one from the outside (well sort of outside – I’m a bridesmaid so I’m sure I’ll help out lots.) There is a lot of stress involved with being the bride and groom when you are as anxiety prone as we are sometimes!

We were taking a chance on the weather, but exactly a year before the wedding before I was engaged I remember thinking “It’s been really nice out all week. I should get married on this week next year.” So we did and I was right – in a summer of nothing but rainy Saturdays, we got really, really, lucky. Four months later people are still telling me that. The farmer who owned the wheat field was even nice enough to keep the wheat up for the wedding. How nice is that?? It would not have been the same without it. I went back to the property the next morning and it was already being combined.