As a result of having had a seizure a month ago, I’ve lost my license. What I really want to write about is how much it sucks, and how much I hate being so dependent on other people, and how I just want to get in my car and drive to the mall to get a better pair of work shoes (ones that are more conducive to walking thousands of kilometres a day) and how I want to eliminate waiting from my existence and how being on the c-train behind the car that killed a little boy yesterday put a serious damper on my day. I know that last one sounded … trivial, and I will acknowledge that my problems are most definitely first world problems, but they are problems, they are real, and they are mine.

So now that I let that all out (insert big sigh here) I will talk about something I have learned since becoming a full-time transit user.

There are two types of people that take public transit: The kind you wouldn’t mind getting stuck sitting beside, and the kind you avoid sitting beside.

Today, friends, I am going to teach you the very basic and easy ways to become the former and avoid the latter.

1.) First and foremost, SHOWER. And when you shower, use soap. This one is very basic, yet unfortunately people seem to be confused about it.

2.) Wear clean clothes. If you are taking public transit the chances of being in very close proximity to another person are extremely high. If your shirt smells and you think no one will notice, they will. I promise.

3.) Deodorant is your friend. Probably your best friend (even though you may not know). Perfume, on the other hand, is NOT your friend. Don’t choke those around you with your cloud of stench.

4.) iPods are excellent companions on public transit. But not everyone around you favours the same genre of music as you, so turn down to volume to a reasonable level.

5.)Don’t talk to the person next to you. People take public transit to get places, not to make friends.

6.) Don’t talk loudly on your phone. A short, quiet phone call I can understand. But please, if you are going to yell and swear and rant or laugh and exclaim, take it outside. You are disturbing those around you.

7.) Don’t give yourself a manicure on the train. While being productive on the bus/train can be helpful, I don’t want your dirty nail filings flying all over my lap.

8.) If a senior citizen, handicapped person, or somebody with a child comes on the train, offer them your seat. Don’t think about it, don’t count on somebody else doing it, just do it. It’s the courteous thing to do.

9.) Don’t stare at other people on the bus/train. I don’t care if you think that girl is hotter than Heidi Klum or perhaps she has a giant wart on her forehead – staring is rude and that person does notice.

This is by all means not an exhaustive list, so what would you add? What irks you about your public transit neighbours?

*This has been a public service announcement from Leah.