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In the words of Kirsten Dunst circa 2000, Bring It On.

January 5, 2011 By 4 Comments

It’s no secret that 2010 was not the best year of my life. 2010 brought a major illness, a move across the country, unemployment and more tears than I could have ever imagined. On the other hand, 2010 brought an incredible amount of love and support from family and friends. Love and support that kept me going and made me realize that my life is filled with some seriously amazing people. 2010 also brought more love from Tim, a man who stepped up to the plate and so much more when things got tough.

My attitude towards 2011 is that it will be the best one yet. This year I am looking forward to so many great things – more babies to hug, a challenging new job (keep reading for more info on that!), some traveling, creating my space in Toronto, and planning for my future. I’m  not making any resolutions (although I always resolve to improve my posture), I just want to focus on keeping that positive attitude – to make 2011 my best year yet, and to live as much life as I can. In addition, I have my 25 before 25 list to work on in the next 11 months.

Let’s talk about the best Christmas present any fun-employed individual could ask for – a job offer. On the 23rd, I accepted a job offer with a growing not-for-profit in Toronto. Without going in to too much detail, my job will be quite similar to my position in Calgary, working with adults with severe and persistent mental health illnesses. The job gives me the opportunity to expand on aspects of my skills I wish to build upon, challenges some skills I have developed, and provides lots of opportunities for forward movement. After hanging up the phone to accept the offer, I did what any self-respecting adult would do – I cried and hugged my Mommy (who gives the best hugs).

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of our readers and friends and family who have commented and called and hugged and supported me throughout my job search. In all honestly, I couldn’t have made it through the past six months the way I did without you. Special shout out to Tim, I honestly feel like words can’t express how amazing he is and how much love and support he has shown me over the past year (can you believe that we celebrated our five year anniversary last month?!). I’m excited as to what our move back to Toronto will bring for our relationship and our life together.

Filed Under: job stuff, leah, life, relationships

soulmates, heartbreak, airport moments, epic adventures and the meaning of love.

February 19, 2010 By 4 Comments

4 months ago, Rachel fell in love…with love stories. To be more precise, she fell in love with the idea of publishing the love stories of members of the 20SB community. Since the original post about her Love Story Project, it has grown into a blog of its own and attracted stories from bloggers and non-bloggers alike. They are stories of love experienced first-hand, and of love witnessed. The stories are happy, sad, hopeful, and inspiring. They are all individually unique and special.

Rachel has passed the reins of the Love Story Project over to us. She sent quite a few stories that are waiting to be published and we can’t wait to share them with you! Please subscribe, share a story, or suggest to a friend that they share their story. You are welcome to email your love story to fiveblondes (at) gmail.com anytime.

love story project

pic by laurenewalters

Look for the next love story to come your way on Monday. If you’ve submitted a story already, we have your contact information and will be in touch to confirm when your story will be published.

Filed Under: 20sb, love, Love Story Project, relationships Tagged With: , ,

Life, in no particular order.

February 10, 2010 By 10 Comments

I hate January.

Seriously. I hate it. January and I? Not friends. We don’t get along. Never have, perhaps never will. Many people use January as their starting point. A launching pad for new adventures. A time for resolutions and reflection. For me, making new resolutions is a reminder of the old resolutions I haven’t fulfilled from years past. Reflection reminds me of not just the high points of the year, but also the low points.

I wish I could tell you that this past January was different. I wish I could tell you that I stepped up my game, told myself “I rock!” and focused my efforts on bettering myself personally and professionally. But I can’t, because I didn’t. Instead, I looked up articles on seasonal affective disorder and how my medication could be negatively affecting my emotions and physical condition. I tried to find a way to blame my feelings on anything other than myself. I slept too much. I watched too much crappy daytime television. I put off reaching out to old co-workers who reached out to me after I lost my job. I imagined being a better person. I imagined reinventing myself. I imagined how it will feel when I’m done school. When I find a job. When we buy a house. When we start a family. If. When.

I found myself not caring anymore. One year ago we had a plan. It fell apart. I was upset for a long time, but in January? In January I didn’t care. I didn’t care whether we ever move out of our little apartment. I didn’t care whether we ever buy a house. If I ever find a job. If we ever start our family.

But it’s February now.

February is my new starting point. I believe that the ‘new year’ is arbitrary – every day is the beginning of a new year, technically. The first 9 days of this month have held more promise and more achievements for me than the last 3 months have. I’ve finished school projects early, had an interview for a very exciting job, and found some job prospects in unexpected places. I want things again. I care about getting those things. The house is cleaner. I’m organizing my stuff. I hired my own personal cheerleader. I’m making an effort in areas of my life that I never have before. I have time to knit, and that just makes me happy. I was able to give my first knitted baby hat to Hailey – she has to grow into it a little more, but it is just adorable.

Hailey, wearing a hat knitted for her by her aunt Erica!
Now that, my friends, is a reason to start over.

Filed Under: life, relationships, Work

25 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Sunday

January 25, 2010 By 4 Comments

I stumbled upon this blog post last week that really got me thinking.  As many of you might know from my tweets I’ve had a fairly confusing couple of weeks, sometimes in the “this is okay” sense and sometimes in the “what the eff am I doing here” sense.  While reading Leah’s blog post about our award I looked to the right under the Blogher ad, and saw “25 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Sunday”.  This post by genpink will get anyone thinking, and is a good way to reflect over your past week to make your next one even more productive, which is definitely what I’m needing lately.

So here is is folks, 25 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Sunday.  These are from genpink’s source, Marc and Angel Hack Life and they have little explanations about each question:

  1. What did I learn last week? – If you have trouble answering this question, it’s time for a change.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, you should learn something new every week.
  2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? – Reflecting on your accomplishments is a healthy way to raise self confidence and contentment.  It’s also an effective way to track your progress.
  3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why? – It may open up your mind to new passions and goals, or simple pastimes worth revisiting.
  4. What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? – Everything else is secondary, and should be treated as such.  Nevertheless, this question will also shine light on other noteworthy tasks.
  5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? – Set reminders in your calendar, get your laundry done, fill the car with gas… organize yourself.
  6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week? – The idea here is to learn from your struggles and better equip yourself for future encounters.
  7. What was last week’s biggest time sink? – Steer clear of this in the future.  Setup physical barriers against distractions if you have to.
  8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped? – Physical clutter, mental clutter… eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may shine bright.
  9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? – Pencil in a time to get these things done.  For any 2-minute or less tasks, consider scheduling them first thing Monday morning.
  10. What opportunities are still on the table? – If it’s still available and you want it, make a concrete plan to go after it this week.
  11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to? – Regular communication can solve problems before they fester.  Always keep an open line of communication to those around you.
  12. Is there anyone that deserves a big ‘Thank You’? – Take time each week to thank the people who have helped you.  Your kind gesture will not go unnoticed.
  13. How can I help someone else this coming week? – The easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.  If you help them, they will remember you when you need help.
  14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years? – You’ll never make any progress in life if you don’t setup realistic goals for yourself.
  15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? – If the answer is no, something needs to change.
  16. What’s the next step for each goal? – Knowing the next step is the key to accomplishing the whole.
  17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? – The answer can act as a great source of motivation.  If nothing exists, schedule something to look forward to.
  18. What are my fears? – Consciously address your fears each week and slowly work on resolving them.  It’s all about taking baby steps.
  19. What am I most grateful for? – It’s a smart way to keep things in perspective, and something you should never lose sight of.
  20. If I knew I only had one week to live, who would I spend my time with? – Another helpful reminder… Life is short.  Spend more time with the people you care about.

Genpink added five of her own:

  1. Who can I inspire this week?
  2. Did I tell the people in my life how much they mean to me?
  3. Did I make a difference with someone?
  4. Did I learn something?
  5. Have I done something creative this week?

So tell me folks, do you have any questions that you ask yourself to take inventory of your life/week?

Filed Under: lauren, life, question, relationships

A Very Good Reason

December 3, 2009 By 6 Comments

Life can be frustrating sometimes. You can lose your job one day, your primary form of transportation disappears the next (local bus strike – boo! ). But on the brighter side of things, the apartment is cleaner than usual (save for my study notes), I’m working on a few awesome knitting projects (I hope to start a sweater for Denis next week) and I’m getting exercise walking to school several days a week! I’ve told you before that I’m an optimist, and I’m going to say it again today. Everything in life happens for a reason.

One of the best things that ever happened to me in my life was getting let go from a job at a local greenhouse. It was a seasonal position that I didn’t expect to keep for too long, but when I was one of the first let go as the busy spring season wound down I was surprised and saddened. Summer was coming up fast and I didn’t have a job. Unfortunately the position I had held at a nearby golf course that our family is a part of wasn’t available to me as they had already hired someone who had been available earlier in the year than I was. It was looking like I might be spending the summer working at home for mom and dad – not the worst thing in the world, but future employers don’t generally see your parents as impartial references.

I don’t recall exactly how many days or weeks passed before I was at the golf course having brunch with our family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – there were quite a few of us there enjoying our meal. Suddenly, the pro shop manager came up to me with a question: Would you be able to work behind the counter for a while?

I grabbed my plate and off we went. I hadn’t worked in the pro shop the year before (I had worked in the kitchen and behind the bar previously), but honestly it was where I really wanted to be. The manager showed me the till, pointed out a few important buttons, and…left me to teach a kids golf camp. An hour later he returned, and I had rung a dozen or so golfers through without any errors.

I finished out the summer and worked weekends into the fall at the course, learning as much as I could about the golf industry. I charmed the mens league players, made coffee at 5:30 am for the groundscrew, ordered thousands of golf pencils, and helped run tournaments. I returned the next summer to take on the role of Assistant Manager. One day a co-worker mentioned her single friend. She wanted to introduce us.

Denis

Denis & Erica

I think you could say we hit it off. It was a very good reason.

photos by Last Forty Percent Photography – London, Ontario
Filed Under: life, love, relationships

When life is hard.

November 12, 2009 By 8 Comments

Sometimes I feel like there is no point to me blogging these days. The best blog posts to me are the ones that are open and honest like this one or many of this girl’s. Since so many of our readers are people that I know in real life it’s often easier just to gloss over the details that aren’t pretty or happy.

But you know what? I also love the blogs that just post pretty pictures of perfect lives because I like to believe that some people’s lives really are that way all the time. I mean it’s okay to be happy and to blog about that. But not when it’s just not how you feel. Even the most positive blogger, I like to think, reaches that point where they have to say, you know what? Sometimes life is HARD.

Sometimes life is hard.

I am an underemployed girl feeling like life is more stagnant that I want it to be.

I am a girl who knows I can get a lot more out of life than I am, right now. I am a girl who knows that I can put into life a lot more than I am right now.

I am a girl who feels my husband’s emotions, both the good ones and the bad ones, way too much and lets them affect me instead of just being me, which brings circles of positivity (which are wonderful) or negativity (not so wonderful.)

I am a girl who lets feelings of being unwanted by a friend ruin her day.

I am a girl who sometimes finds it hard to trust and sometimes finds it impossible.

I’m a girl who looks towards the future instead of living in the present, which really, is all I ever have.

I am a girl who wastes precious seconds of her life with these things that I know are not me, not really, or not the me I would prefer to be.

I’m aching to write about all of the good things so, I don’t know, so you won’t feel sorry for me? So I won’t feel sorry for myself? Because something in me says you shouldn’t end a blog sadly? Sometimes life is good and sometimes life is great but right now I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how sometimes, life is HARD. You know?

Filed Under: micaela, not so happy, personal, relationships

It's one thing to drift apart, and another to take off running in the other direction

September 2, 2009 By 18 Comments

I remember seeing our engagement pictures posted on our photographers blog and tearing up. My heart raced, I got a little shaky, and a silly smile spread across my face. There we were, in love, for the world to see!

Today I’m looking at engagement photos also on our photographers blog and again am tearing up. My heart is racing, and I’m shaky.

No smiles.

I’ve seen several old friends appear unexpectedly on their blog before, as well as a couple of new friends. My high school crush was there one day looking very James Dean with his high school sweetheart. The prom king and queen, almost a decade later, finally tying the knot. I was always happy to see my friends on Last Forty Percent’s blog, knowing they made a fantastic choice and would have beautiful photographs to treasure just as we do.

I knew that this most recent couple was getting married. 10 days from now, actually. I don’t know him, but I know her. Or at least I thought I did.

She was my Best Friend – you know, the friend you share your dreams and have adventures with. We made gingerbread houses in her kitchen and played board games and pinball in her basement (There was a pinball machine! In her basement!). We practiced music together, she playing viola to my cello, along with the violins of several other friends. We went to the local fair every year in a group and bought bracelets allowing us to go on the Gravatar until we were sick. We nervously started high school together, expanding our circle of friends while at the same time remaining close. Our commitment to music took us to Europe, where we travelled through Switzerland and Italy with our high school choir. We started growing up, standing on a dark sidewalk after a party bravely taking slurps of  Cherry Coke laced with whiskey.

Maybe it was here where things started to go awry. In truth, I’ve never figured it out, and perhaps I’ll never know. All I do know is that one day I arrived at school, approached her at her locker to greet her, and was met with a blank stare.

From that day forward, I didn’t exist to her.

If she had to speak to me, her words were terse and short. If she had to be near me, she turned her back and stared into space. I spent days – weeks – months – years! trying to figure out what I might have done that would make her no longer want to spend so much as a moment with me. Her own brother, whom I count as a friend, asked me what happened between us. I told him I wish I had an answer. Oh, how I wish! I have no answers. Only questions.

Perhaps I wasn’t cool enough. I’ll be the first to admit, I was really awkward as a teen. Maybe I did something seemingly horrible to her, or said the wrong thing. My brain-to-mouth filter is not always on. Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention to her, or was making the wrong friends. Maybe this, maybe that. I’m maybe-ed out. I need to stop myself before I get into the what-ifs, but I’m leaving this post with one what-if:

What if she reads this? It’s possible she is.

Will she reach out?

Please do.

It’s been 10 years. What I wouldn’t do for closure.

Filed Under: friends, personal, relationships Tagged With:

Boyfriends and the Internets.

August 24, 2009 By 14 Comments

Dear common-law partner boyfriend of mine,

First things first, I love you. I really, really do!

But I have some things to explain to you. Specifically, the part of my life that I call the internets and you call DANGER.

In a way, I don’t blame you and I can understand where you are coming from. And I do feel that in the past few months it has gotten a little out of hand. That is why, for you AND me, I have privatized my Twitter (permanently, this time) and reduced the number of people I follow by a lot. Hundreds, even. (Sorry to all of you. You are all wonderful people, but, as I said, I was just getting out of hand).

One thing that is NOT going to change is the friends that I have made because of my blog and because of Twitter. I have met some great people and they have become my friends in this new city of mine. And you know what? I am not going to stop hanging out with them because it scares you. People meet online all the time. People meet their spouses online, probably on a daily basis! (You know that because we often watch those happy eHarmony commercials together.)

I do not hide these bloggy-friends from you, nor do I place myself in situations that could be potentially harmful. But my new friends are wonderful! They are funny, like-minded, single, not single, happy, and sometimes not happy, employed (and sometimes briefly unemployed), kind, and most importantly, REAL people who have become an integral part of my social network in Calgary.

I’m not replacing you, or Natalie, or the used-to-be-distant relatives that I can now call my friends. I need these people as an addition to my social network. I am a social being! I love talking (usually really fast), dancing, getting advice from, teasing and just hanging out with these people (WHO ARE REAL). I need to have someone I can call if I don’t want to be alone on a Friday night when you are working. I like talking to them about relationships, dancing, clothes, gossip, the meaning of life, knowing how to be happy, and ZOMG YOU! I talk to them about you! And way-more-things-than-that-but-I-can’t-specify-because-Hi, Mom!

So please, accept these friendships as a permanent part of my life. Encourage me to continue to go out of my comfort zone and meet new people. Do it because you love me, and because your job forced me to move to this great city where I want to be happy and fulfilled. (Just kidding about the forced; I made an informed, adult decision which I am very happy about.)

In closing, I love you (even your monkey legs and your pterodactyl alter ego) and probably will for the rest of my life.

Leah.

P.S. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt you to try and do the same?

Do you have any “rules” you abide by when meeting people off the internets to ward off potentially dangerous situation?

Do you have any advice for Mr. Leah to satisfy his (reasonable) wish for me to be safe?

Filed Under: answer, Calgary, friends, leah, life, personal, relationships

Love and Recessonista

July 17, 2009 By 5 Comments

I was lucky enough to have Mr. Tim all to myself tonight, and I tried to take full advantage of that by doing some much needed car shopping, but that was a major fail. So I will continue to drive Tim’s lovely ’94 Grand Marquis for now (did I mention the A/C broke last week? Oh, and that only one window works? And that it was incredibly hot out today? And that when I got home from work Tim told me I looked like “poop” because I was so sweaty from being in his car for 15 minutes and I kind of exploded at him? #fail)
I made it up to myself by putting on a cute outfit and making him take me out for dinner with promises of car shopping tomorrow. Doing the necessary outfit analyzing, I was proud of myself when I realized what an inexpensive outfit I had put together.
Leah
Outfit – Cami, Lady Dutch – $7, jeans, Dynamite – $30, Blazer, Rickis – $40, shoes, Wal-Mart – $5 (I am a serious bargain shopper – outfit total $87, including purse which I got for a gift exchange at Christmas from Lindsay)

You know that thought that you should marry someone who loves you more than you love them? Well, I told Tim it wasn’t true for us because I love him more than he loves me, and Tim said that he does love me more, but that he keeps it inside when we are in public. I am not a BIG PDA’er but I sure do have some of that in me – I enjoy a good hand-hold and a quick smooch here and there. What’s the point of loving someone a lot and not showing it? Not that he doesn’t show it, he is a very loving guy and does cook for me on a regular basis (the key to my heart is most definitely through my stomach). Also, it was him that asked if we could spend the evening sitting on the balcony drinking wine, eating bread and cheese, light our “fresh cut grass” candles and listen to Michael in the first place. Win! While we were out there enjoying the gorgeous evening, I informed Tim that Michael (yes, we are on a first name basis because we had dinner together in September. NOT really, his table was across from mine while we were eating. Big deal to me.) is on my “list.”Tim said he didn’t have to worry because Michael would run away from me when he meets me because he would be scared of my “presence.” He went on to say that he “know[s] it’s true because I was when I first met you.” Aww! Also, Tim said he would beat him up if he made a move.

Anyways, all in all it was a great evening spent with my most loved one, and I hope many, many more are to come.

Filed Under: Calgary, fashion, love, relationships

Love & Stress: A Screenplay

May 22, 2009 By 7 Comments

Scene One: Cooking with the “Culinary Master of Canada”, 5:00pm

Cut to Leah and Tim, romantically preparing an appetizer of coconut shrimp and a delectable-looking shrimp, garlic and white wine cream sauce complete with fresh pasta. Also, he has quartered a chicken and is making home-made chicken stock in the oven for a soup the following day. They are kissing, googly-eyed at each other and at one point Tim even says to her that she is the most wonderful, amazing and thoughtful girlfriend in the whole world. And he compliments her on her Nintendo skills  as he feeds [Read more...]

Filed Under: Calgary, humour, life, love, relationships
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