First off, I realize that I owe our readers some details about the wedding and the honeymoon. Of course, I could just fall back on the ol’ “what happens in Vegas…” line, but the stories I have to share are too cool to keep to myself! 
But what I really need to do today is get something off my chest.
I’ve been keeping this quiet for the last few years because frankly, I’m embarrassed. I’ve avoided or bent the truth when discussing it with friends and family, and it’s finally caught right up with me. I’ve finally been backed into a corner by this and it’s set my life plans (our life plans – including home ownership and starting a family) back about a year. I let myself down and I let my husband down.
So what is it?
I’m not done school. I’ve told some people that I am, or that I’m thisclose! to being done. However, today I found out that I’m no longer even thisclose! to being done. My program requirements changed before I finished all of my coursework, and now I have to pick up three more courses to graduate with my B.A. in Film Studies.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things it’s not a huge deal. Many people who read this might say “so what?” or wonder why I’m getting so worked up about it. Well, in my mind the worst part about this whole situation is that it could have been avoided. I ignored the very good advice that was given to me by Denis and by my mother to see an academic counselor two years ago. I was hard headed and stubborn, thinking that I could figure it out by myself, and now I’m in a bind. I’m not going to be able to start the courses until September and it will take the full academic year to finish them. Do you want to know when I started university? 2001. That is forever ago. Jean Chretien was Prime Minister in 2001. Bill Clinton was president in 2001 (for a few weeks, at least). Bjork wore that ridiculous swan to the Oscars. The first season of Survivor finished. I don’t think I need to remind you of what happened in September of 2001. I was at school that day.
OK, now I’m being overly dramatic. I know that I’m not the first and will certainly not be the last person to find themself in this situation. It just feels awkward – I’m the oldest, but there is the outside chance that I might be the last to graduate from university (Lauren, feel free to take a year off or fail a class or two, k? 
). I can console myself with the fact that I have no debt from school, largely because I worked and studied at the same time for a few years.
What I want to stick in to the end here as well is an I’m Sorry. I’m sorry to those that I misled, I’m sorry to my parents (mom especially), and I’m sorry to Denis. Den, you have been a wonderfully supportive boyfriend and fiance – I know you will be just as supportive as a husband.
i can see how you’re so upset – i’m taking 4 years to do a simple 2 year college program and sometimes I get down on myself for not being able to do it like a ‘normal’ person.
However – school is but one tiny part of life, as I hope you have found out, and MAJOR kudos to you for not having any debt. I think that’s way more important than not having 3 courses to officially have your degree.
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Well, Miss Erica. First of all, I’m glad you are taking responsibility for you actions (or lack thereof) and that you got this off your chest. No one should judge you. It is very true that you had a lot of very different experiences than the rest of us girls when you were going through school, and by that I mean your epilepsy. You had this intense health problem that none of us had to deal with, and we know that God only gives to people what He knows they can handle.
Be angry at yourself, but also be kind and gentle to your soul.
And in the end, LEARN from this mistake. This won’t be the first opportunity you have to fuck up something in your life, but if you do (or are about to), think about how it will make you feel, and think about how it will make your loved ones feel.
(Don’t worry, in the end, they will still love you)
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Leah is right, learn from your mistakes and move forward. Thats all any of us can do. Good luck finishing your classes!
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Sounds rough, Erica. I’m sure you had your own personal challenges that slowed you down and that you did the best you could. Some people graduate on time but with piles and piles of debt. I’m sure that working while studying contributed to the length of your degree, but you won’t spend years paying it off. Be kind to yourself!
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Also, Erica – you are working a great full-time job while still being able to work on your degree! That is awesome. Not many people are able to have the brains/connections to be able to do that. That is a blessing.
And although the baby thing will have to wait, well there is no saying that you can’t be 9 months preggo marching (waddling?) your ass down that aisle at your convocation
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We all strike out sometimes Eri. Believe you me! Let it go, SEE an academic counselor NOW- like can you change to a general BA and have enough credits to finish? Stop beating yourself up, and remember that we all love, admire and respect you. Remember, I started and finished university after having 5 kids!
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hm I think this would indicate the perfect time to have a child, hello one year maternity leave! i’ve heard the most common thing first timers on mat leave do besides tending to the infant is advance their education!
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There are much bigger things in life to worry yourself about Erica, TRUST ME! I’ve gone though just about everything, I know it’s hard & all the “well if i had of done this” or “done that’s”, but its life. shit happens and you just gotta deal with it and move on. no one can judge you but yourself.
if it makes you feel any better it took Ian ( my hubby ) 6 years to do a 4 year degree ( he started @ UofT screwed up 1st year, moved to Ryerson, then had to take a yr off for surgery & recovery ) he started in 2003 – will have his Convocation in June..
my mum went back & finished her gr.12 and 4 yrs of college for nursing with 3 kids between the ages of 7 & 12.. ( she was 30 finishing gr.12 in Night School )
and i read your mom did it with you 5 girls.. so see it’s all good.. haha
I have to go back and finish too.. ( I had Thomas instead of finishing.. and then i had Liam… )
Things happen for a reason. maybe you don’t know what the reason is for it yet.. but you will.
Big bummer! When our school changed the degree requirements, it actually made my life easier. I know how it feels to be done, it’s great, so push on through!
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Not an issue as far as I’m concerned. I never finished either. I was offered a job before I finished and have never looked back. I’ve tried a couple of times to finish it but I’m so undisciplined when it comes to studying at home.
Don’t worry, if you want it enough, it’ll happen. Love you still.
Sometimes the greatest lessons learned happen when you do things the hard way. I take it your work will give you the opportunity (i.e. time off) to attend the courses? Go get that degree and walk across that stage proudly at your convocation. It’ll be worth it and your family will be so proud to celebrate your accomplishments with you. Plus, having those official letters behind your name may come in handy some day down the road. Good luck!!!